Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Celebrate the Perks, Don't Compare The Plights

I came across a Scary Mommy article this morning about the struggles of being a stay-at-home-mom.  At first glance, it was amusing and I was able to relate.  I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "So, what do you do all day?" or someone implies that being home with the kids is easy or that I am somehow "less than" because I am not a working parent. I have actually had people look down on me and make me feel stupid because I don't hold a position outside of the home.  So yes, sometimes I wish that working parents could see what I have to deal with day in and day out.

And then in the comments section of that blog post was the much predicted argument from the working moms.  That SAHM's don't understand how difficult working is, and how it's so much harder to be a working mom because they do so much more, and how they would give anything to be able to stay at home all day.

All of this angered me.  All of it.  The argument from both sides is just ridiculous.  Why are we arguing?  WHEN WILL THIS END??!!  Why are we comparing, why do we care who has it worse, and why aren't we just trying to make it better for everyone?

Motherhood is hard.  Period.  Parenting is hard.  Period.  Whether you are at home with your kids, or you have to leave to an office every day, it is hard.  Our struggles may be different - I want to eat without someone else sitting in my lap and you want to be able to make it to a school performance for once - but at the end of the day they are all the same.  We are all tired, frustrated, and aching for someone else to understand our plight. There is not enough time in the day for us to do X, Y & Z.  If only we were able to (fill-in-the blank).

And I get it.  I've been guilty of it myself.  We all get it, it's hard for all of us.  But instead of putting each other down for the different lives we lead and comparing who has it worse, we should be supporting each other and maybe even (dare I say it!), celebrating what we LOVE about our lives!!  There are perks & plights for those who work outside of the home and for those who stay in, and so I say let's celebrate the perks!  All of them!!

I CHALLENGE YOU.  Not just for Thanksgiving.  Not just for November.  But every day.  I challenge you to find something that you love about your situation.  Every day.  Something that makes it special.  Something that you wouldn't have if you were in the other mom's shoes.  Marinate in that, even if just for a few moments of the day.  My hope is that if we can all appreciate what we DO have we can stop complaining about what we don't have or what we wish we had.  I think we will all be a little happier at the end of the day too if we just counted our blessings instead of our aggravations.